Bạn có nói tiếng Anh không and other non-useful phrases

This week I had an epiphany; while we’re here we could learn Vietnamese! Since this innocuous idea came into my brain space, life as I know it will never be the same again.
It all started when I stumbled across a brilliant website called Fluent in 3 Months – http://www.fluentin3months.com – written by a young Irish bloke called Benny who, over the last 8 years, since the age of 21 (when he could only speak one language, English), has become fluent in French, Italian, Irish, Spanish, Portuguese, German and Esperanto (a kind of cunning linguist’s language of choice that was made up over 100 years ago and doesn’t originate from any particular country). He is now learning Mandarin, American Sign Language, Dutch and Czech. He does this by immersing himself in the language he’s learning and trying hard not to utter a single English word for three months. It’s a great website and is a must-read for anyone interested in challenging themselves to learn a language fluently.
So, Vietnamese. Quite simply, it is nothing like English. There are twelve vowels to start with; three different A’s, two E’s, one I, three O’s and two U’s (although, English does have 22 different vowel sounds). The language has 6 tones, these are mid-level, high-rising, low-falling, low-broken, low-rising and high broken, which means that there are 18 different ways to say the letter A and not to mention the 39 diphthongs (the sound of two vowels together). Unlike Thai, Lao and Khmer, Vietnamese is written in the Roman script which means we don’t need to learn a whole set of squiggles before we can even read it. But don’t be fooled, it isn’t as straightforward as you’d imagine, for example the word ‘no’, khong, is pronounced more like kom. The word ‘pho’ (need I explain?) is said similar to the English word ‘fur’ but on the ‘o’ the tone starts low, dips a little lower then rises slowly to a higher tone so that it sounds a bit like you’re asking a question. It’s actually written as phở; the two accents on the ‘o’ denote which of the three ‘O’s’ to pronounce and what tone it is said in (see what I mean?!) But why are tones so important I hear you ask, well let’s look at the word ‘ma’. Depending on what tone you use it could mean ghost, cheek, which, tomb, horse or rice seedling. There is also the fact that all Vietnamese names said in a different tone mean something else so it’s important you don’t call the lovely lady at the greengrocers a goat. A boy in one of my classes is called Duc and every time I say his name he replies ‘noooo, my name isn’t Duc, it’s Duc!’ Guess you had to be there. 
This image symbolically conveys the re-birthing process myself and Gareth will endure as we learn a diverse phonological system of tones, idiomatic expressions and the structural rules that govern the syntax of Vietnamese.

We could be in Vietnam for some time. We might even stay until the new year we love it that much, hence learning Vietnamese would be very useful. Last week I got a manicure and pedicure at a nail bar down the road and if it wasn’t for the wealthy Vespa-driving lady next to me having her talons adorned with diamantes, who could speak a little English, then the whole experience would have involved me sitting there grinning like a Cheshire cat as the two women working on my mucky hands and feet giggled and wondered aloud about my age and what a twenty-something western girl was doing in a place like this.

It’s frustrating not being able to show the people I come across on a daily basis my true character and if I do get the chance to speak to someone in English I have to put on a weird awkward British/American accent because there is no way they’d understand me if I spoke in Scouse. Most importantly though, I want to know them, I want to know their personalities and characters not by what I can see through my ignorance but by hearing how they speak to one another. I also desperately want to buzz someone off when I hear them talking about me, ha! Oh, to see their face when I can answer back and give them a good tongue-lashing.   

This image shows me shooting stuff because I’m angry because Vietnamese is so fu**ing hard

And life has already changed. I needed a coffee this morning and we’d ran out of condensed milk so I practiced saying ‘hai sua’ or ‘two milks’ for a couple of minutes, (the U in sua is said in the ‘high-broken’ tone) and when I uttered this impossible sentence to the lady in the shop she repeated it back to me exactly as I’d said it with a look of awe then rambled something in Vietnamese that sounded like a compliment while I just nodded and smiled. It was the first time I didn’t need to point to what I wanted and it felt wonderful.
So, can we become fluent in three months? It’s worth a try like. Although one phrase I won’t be learning is ‘bạn có nói tiếng Anh không?’ or ‘do you speak English?’.
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3 thoughts on “Bạn có nói tiếng Anh không and other non-useful phrases”

  1. Might learn abit of vietnamese and we could have a full blown conversation, when you come home that it! But yet again a great post and I hope you are enjoying your time there! X

  2. Thanks Robyn!! Yeah, give it a go and let's see what we can talk about in front of the fambo without them ever knowing. I'm loving it here, it's a really cool place to live xxx

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